5 Tips for Finding Your First Home Together, Without Arguing

Buying a Home

5 Tips for Finding Your First Home Together, Without Arguing

After planning a wedding, buying a house is often the next big project a new couple tackles together. And it can be even more contentious than selecting flower arrangements and cake flavors for your big day. Buying a house is a big, long-term financial commitment, and you both are likely to have strong ideas about what’s important to look for in a home.

So we were actually impressed that only 28 percent of respondents to a recent TheNest.com survey said that they argued with their partner during their house hunt. Most said their disagreements were no big deal. But there was a unfortunate two percent that said their arguments “got heated at times.” And while that is still a tiny percentage, that’s not how you want to start your home ownership journey.

So we asked editor Kristine Solomon at TheNest.com for her advice on how to keep your cool as a couple during the house hunt. Here are five of her top tips for getting along like two little lovebirds while looking for the very best nest possible:

1. Set your price point together.

According to the survey, the budget was most common topic of home-shopping arguments. So spend some time at the outset objectively deciding what you can afford, says Solomon. Check your credit scores and pull all your financial records — such as pay stubs and savings accounts statements. (You’re going to need those when you apply for a home loan, anyway.) With that information at your finger tips, you can use a home affordability calculator to figure out your price range.

2. Set your priorities separately — then together.

Hardly anybody can have everything they want in their first home. Solomon suggests that you each make a list of your five top priorities before you start looking. Maybe you can’t live without a walk-in closet, but you could survive without a big backyard. When you’ve settled on your own must-haves, get together with your partner and compare. The items one both your lists are your most important joint priorities. You’ll need to negotiate the rest.

3. Learn from others.

There’s so much knowledge to be gained from talking to people who have bought homes already. Solomon suggests asking your friends about how they approached the home-buying process and how they settled any differences that arose.

4. Practice.

If just get on the same page with your partner, spend some time going to open houses together before you really delve into the serious house hunting phase. Solomon likens it to having a “dress rehearsal,” where you both can discover what you want and what you can afford as a couple.

5. Compromise.

Get used it. You’re married now! If you haven’t discovered it already, buying a home is a good time to learn the lesson that you get a lot back long term if you’re willing to give a little today.

“At the end of the day,” says Solomon, “it’s important to remember that you’re looking for your dream house as a couple — not just for you.”